As I slip into my ninth month of pregnancy, I’ve noticed my “mindedness” (among other things) slipping. Unfortunately, it often feels these days as if it’s happening right when I’m supposed to be saying something. This is bad.
Let’s take, for example, my performance today in my duties as Primary Chorister for our church:
Amber: The Proclamation on the Family is a revelation from God that helps us to understand what roles each family member should have. Why would it be important for us to understand how to run our families?
Kids: (Chirp chirp)
Voice in Amber’s Mind: Don’t say anything stupid now – you need to address this carefully.
Amber: Well, how many of you have experienced, or know someone whose parents aren’t together anymore?
Voice: Doh. Okay, that wasn’t too bad – please just move on.
(Kids raise hands)
Amber: It’s hard to have broken families, huh? Now, how many of you have experienced a situation where…um, uh…the mother is not able to stay home and raise her kids?
Voice: Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!
I tried to smooth this over. I tried to make it clear that families that had untraditional gender roles weren’t bad, but the more I talked, the worse I got, and the crankier that voice became, and it all ended up in a big mess. Which just made me feel stupid for the rest of the day. My only consolation is that the kids probably weren’t listening anyway.
It’s convenient that I have pregnancy to blame this on right now, but I know there have been, and will yet be instances of idiocy when pregnancy cannot serve as an excuse. I guess I just have to forgive myself and trust that my best efforts, offered to and sanctified by Divinity, can be good enough.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Have you called Jenny yet?
A friend recently called my attention to the fact that it’s been way too long since I’ve posted pictures. Ahhh! I don’t really like verbose blogs – I’ve gotten to be a very lazy reader, so I just skim or skip long posts – so I feel kind of sheepish that my blog has become that.
My main excuse is that I don’t really like pictures of myself, and I feel sensitive about posting too many pictures of Olivia because I think she’s the most beautiful thing in the world (at least for a few more weeks) and I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging. But, I also realize that I like seeing other people’s cute kids and cute selves, so I need to get less wordy and more picture-y.
To begin, here’s Olivia trying on one of Daddy's shirts (an adult size small, by the way):
And here’s a shot of Olivia and me a few months ago (by a guy who was trying to grow his photography portfolio of pregnant women):
This picture serves as a good introduction for this post’s title story:
When I went in for my OB appointment a couple of weeks ago, the waiting room was packed – naturally, with other women who are currently shaped similarly to me. I took a magazine and sat down. The TV was on, and in a few moments Valerie Bertinelli came on the screen to happily inform us all that, for the second New Year in a row, she was not going to make a weight resolution! And didn’t we all want to be in that situation, too? Now was the time to make the call that would change our lives!
With resolution, I loudly pronounced, “Well, I'm convinced. This year, I’m going to lose 25 pounds! Who’s with me?”
We all laughed, and our babies kicked us.
My main excuse is that I don’t really like pictures of myself, and I feel sensitive about posting too many pictures of Olivia because I think she’s the most beautiful thing in the world (at least for a few more weeks) and I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging. But, I also realize that I like seeing other people’s cute kids and cute selves, so I need to get less wordy and more picture-y.
To begin, here’s Olivia trying on one of Daddy's shirts (an adult size small, by the way):
And here’s a shot of Olivia and me a few months ago (by a guy who was trying to grow his photography portfolio of pregnant women):
This picture serves as a good introduction for this post’s title story:
When I went in for my OB appointment a couple of weeks ago, the waiting room was packed – naturally, with other women who are currently shaped similarly to me. I took a magazine and sat down. The TV was on, and in a few moments Valerie Bertinelli came on the screen to happily inform us all that, for the second New Year in a row, she was not going to make a weight resolution! And didn’t we all want to be in that situation, too? Now was the time to make the call that would change our lives!
With resolution, I loudly pronounced, “Well, I'm convinced. This year, I’m going to lose 25 pounds! Who’s with me?”
We all laughed, and our babies kicked us.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Worn out
This has not been the Best Day Ever.
Not that it's been terrible - but Olivia decided this morning that she wanted to test me. On everything. And I'm 8 months pregnant and tired, and had a lot of stuff that I wanted to accomplish this morning, but that required her cooperation, which has been decidedly absent. Sigh.
On the plus side, my kind neighbor across the street came over and shoveled up the half mouse carcass that has been in our driveway all weekend. A generous prowling cat probably dropped it there, and I kept hoping that either he or some other animal would come around and finish it up, but no such luck. I am not a squeamish girl by any means, but I had no desire to touch it.
Not that it's been terrible - but Olivia decided this morning that she wanted to test me. On everything. And I'm 8 months pregnant and tired, and had a lot of stuff that I wanted to accomplish this morning, but that required her cooperation, which has been decidedly absent. Sigh.
On the plus side, my kind neighbor across the street came over and shoveled up the half mouse carcass that has been in our driveway all weekend. A generous prowling cat probably dropped it there, and I kept hoping that either he or some other animal would come around and finish it up, but no such luck. I am not a squeamish girl by any means, but I had no desire to touch it.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving dinner
Today I felt like a real woman.
I woke up early and prepared homemade stuffing using leftover homemade breads and all our leftover chip crumbs. I stuffed and prepared the 14-pound turkey I'd remembered to thaw in the fridge, then put it in the roaster. I followed the order of operations I'd put together the night before to make sure everything would be hot and ready on time. I'd figured out pan distribution and fridge and freezer space to make sure everything would fit. I cleaned the kitchen so cooking would be pleasant. I made pumpkin pie. When my sister-in-law came over, we cooked up the sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes and finished preparing everything. I seasoned and boiled the neck and giblets. The turkey was roasted and ready just when the remnant stuffing and sweet potatoes were finished cooking, and I strained the fat from the drippings and made gravy that turned out beautifully (and there was PLENTY). Everything was fully cooked and tasted great, and we were all too full to enjoy the pies.
After Dan and Hyde left and I'd shed a little of my turkey coma, I pried all the rest of the meat off the turkey bones and fit all the leftover food into the fridge in a way that is organized and not precariously balanced.
All without having to call my mom.
I know this is a boring blog entry, because nobody really likes to read about things that turn out uneventfully well. Oh, well. It was a good day. I'm thankful.
I woke up early and prepared homemade stuffing using leftover homemade breads and all our leftover chip crumbs. I stuffed and prepared the 14-pound turkey I'd remembered to thaw in the fridge, then put it in the roaster. I followed the order of operations I'd put together the night before to make sure everything would be hot and ready on time. I'd figured out pan distribution and fridge and freezer space to make sure everything would fit. I cleaned the kitchen so cooking would be pleasant. I made pumpkin pie. When my sister-in-law came over, we cooked up the sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes and finished preparing everything. I seasoned and boiled the neck and giblets. The turkey was roasted and ready just when the remnant stuffing and sweet potatoes were finished cooking, and I strained the fat from the drippings and made gravy that turned out beautifully (and there was PLENTY). Everything was fully cooked and tasted great, and we were all too full to enjoy the pies.
After Dan and Hyde left and I'd shed a little of my turkey coma, I pried all the rest of the meat off the turkey bones and fit all the leftover food into the fridge in a way that is organized and not precariously balanced.
All without having to call my mom.
I know this is a boring blog entry, because nobody really likes to read about things that turn out uneventfully well. Oh, well. It was a good day. I'm thankful.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I've found one!*
In discussing our relationship with Steven, I always assert that he's the only man in the world for me, in part because he is the only person who doesn't irritate me.** To which he replies that surely, there must be something he does that bothers me, as many others have no trouble finding his annoying characteristics.
Well, last night as I was sitting up brooding over life's injustices, I finally thought of one: something I don't like about Steven, something he does that annoys me. It wasn't too big of a deal, but I was almost proud of myself for discovering something.
Then this morning, I forgot what it was. Oh, well.
*This is a silly line from one of Olivia's favorite books, Spot's First Christmas. It's silly because of it's unnecessary formality: "I [have] found one!"? Pass the crumpets, Mother!
**This does not mean that everyone I meet bothers me - it means that he's the only person I can be around all the time without getting fed up at some point. Really, all of you reading this, you don't bug me, I promise - but if we lived together, we might annoy each other.
Well, last night as I was sitting up brooding over life's injustices, I finally thought of one: something I don't like about Steven, something he does that annoys me. It wasn't too big of a deal, but I was almost proud of myself for discovering something.
Then this morning, I forgot what it was. Oh, well.
*This is a silly line from one of Olivia's favorite books, Spot's First Christmas. It's silly because of it's unnecessary formality: "I [have] found one!"? Pass the crumpets, Mother!
**This does not mean that everyone I meet bothers me - it means that he's the only person I can be around all the time without getting fed up at some point. Really, all of you reading this, you don't bug me, I promise - but if we lived together, we might annoy each other.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
I like my mom.
I just got off the phone with my mom. Actually, we got cut off because her phone is on the fritz, so we didn't get to finish talking.
It was nice, because I had just been thinking that I wanted to call my mom today to talk to her about her substitute teaching experiences (I'm sorry), my upcoming viola solo at church (rusty at best), our bout with the flu (sympathy, please), and the impulse purchases I just made today (they're worthwhile and not too extravagant, right?) I wanted to call her, but assumed she'd be in class. However, I'd forgotten that she's in the one spot in the U.S. that actually celebrates Veterans Day. (Another btw: I asked Steven if he got Veterans Day off, and he laughed at me. "Who gets off for Veterans Day?" Well, everyone in Porterville!)
As it ended up, my mom called to remind me that it was Band-a-rama, a nice little blast from the past. And because we got cut off, I didn't really end up getting to talk to her about any of those things. But it was nice to talk to her, even if it was just for a little bit. It was a nice reminder of what an extraordinary lady my mom is.
My mom doesn't have to sub. My dad's job provides very well for them, and even if it didn't, she has a law degree and easily passed the bar in California (the day after she had her fourth child, I might add). She does it because she wanted something else to do during the day and she saw a need for qualified educators in the area. Substituting gives her the flexibility to visit grandkids and do other pursuits, but she never lacks for work - teachers of every grade and subject, in two school districts, ask for her specifically.
As smart and capable as my mom is, though, I think what I most admire about her is that she has a very well-rounded intelligence. I don't mean that in the sense of being a renaissance woman, although it certainly fits - what I mean is that, besides being smart and good, my mom is nice. She is unfailingly polite. She is unassuming. She is unselfish. She's a little goofy about some things - if anything, it makes her more likable.
It's been nice for me to reach an age where I'm no longer dependent on my parents, either for my well-being or even for their examples in making life choices - certainly, it's wonderful to still have the option of turning to them for advice, but I'm no longer lost without them. But maybe one of the best parts of this independence is that it has enabled me more to see and appreciate them as people. I realized the other day that Olivia will probably never be able to see me as a person, separate from my being her mother - growing up, Mom was just Mom, and I guess she always will be. But it's nice for me to be able to start seeing Glena, and realize that I really like her, and not just because she's also Mom.
It was nice, because I had just been thinking that I wanted to call my mom today to talk to her about her substitute teaching experiences (I'm sorry), my upcoming viola solo at church (rusty at best), our bout with the flu (sympathy, please), and the impulse purchases I just made today (they're worthwhile and not too extravagant, right?) I wanted to call her, but assumed she'd be in class. However, I'd forgotten that she's in the one spot in the U.S. that actually celebrates Veterans Day. (Another btw: I asked Steven if he got Veterans Day off, and he laughed at me. "Who gets off for Veterans Day?" Well, everyone in Porterville!)
As it ended up, my mom called to remind me that it was Band-a-rama, a nice little blast from the past. And because we got cut off, I didn't really end up getting to talk to her about any of those things. But it was nice to talk to her, even if it was just for a little bit. It was a nice reminder of what an extraordinary lady my mom is.
My mom doesn't have to sub. My dad's job provides very well for them, and even if it didn't, she has a law degree and easily passed the bar in California (the day after she had her fourth child, I might add). She does it because she wanted something else to do during the day and she saw a need for qualified educators in the area. Substituting gives her the flexibility to visit grandkids and do other pursuits, but she never lacks for work - teachers of every grade and subject, in two school districts, ask for her specifically.
As smart and capable as my mom is, though, I think what I most admire about her is that she has a very well-rounded intelligence. I don't mean that in the sense of being a renaissance woman, although it certainly fits - what I mean is that, besides being smart and good, my mom is nice. She is unfailingly polite. She is unassuming. She is unselfish. She's a little goofy about some things - if anything, it makes her more likable.
It's been nice for me to reach an age where I'm no longer dependent on my parents, either for my well-being or even for their examples in making life choices - certainly, it's wonderful to still have the option of turning to them for advice, but I'm no longer lost without them. But maybe one of the best parts of this independence is that it has enabled me more to see and appreciate them as people. I realized the other day that Olivia will probably never be able to see me as a person, separate from my being her mother - growing up, Mom was just Mom, and I guess she always will be. But it's nice for me to be able to start seeing Glena, and realize that I really like her, and not just because she's also Mom.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Goods and Bads
Whenever I get screwed as a consumer, I always want to get back at the company by spreading the word about what scumbags they are. When I first published this, I put a list of some of those companies here - but, I didn't like the tone that gave this post or the way it made me feel.
Anyway, though, on the plus side, it's good to recognize companies that really do things right. That's why today I'd like to honor Wells Fargo as a good company.
WELLS FARGO = GREAT!
You see, last month someone somehow ripped off my credit card number and was able to make a couple of fraudulent purchases with it before they were detected by Wells Fargo's fraud department. Even before I noticed the charges on my account, good ol' WF had put a hold on it. They were really great about helping me sort it all out, and I received notice today that all fraudulent charges and associated fees had been cleared. Aaaah. Nice to have a company relieve headaches instead of causing them.
Oddly enough, this all took place shortly after Toby's experience. I guess it's just a case of life immitating art. And what higher art could there be than Mary Worth!
Anyway, though, on the plus side, it's good to recognize companies that really do things right. That's why today I'd like to honor Wells Fargo as a good company.
WELLS FARGO = GREAT!
You see, last month someone somehow ripped off my credit card number and was able to make a couple of fraudulent purchases with it before they were detected by Wells Fargo's fraud department. Even before I noticed the charges on my account, good ol' WF had put a hold on it. They were really great about helping me sort it all out, and I received notice today that all fraudulent charges and associated fees had been cleared. Aaaah. Nice to have a company relieve headaches instead of causing them.
Oddly enough, this all took place shortly after Toby's experience. I guess it's just a case of life immitating art. And what higher art could there be than Mary Worth!
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