Thanks, Steven, for my happiness. This was indeed a good idea.
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Your votes are beautiful.
The day after my last posting, I got on to admire how many people were responding to the poll. Feeling pleased with myself, I remarked to Steven, “I think I make a pretty good blog.”
“Yes, it’s very you’re beautiful,” he replied.
“I mean, I’ve been posting pretty regularly, and I think they’re interesting and not too wordy or picture-y or boring,” I continued.
“Yes, you’re very pretty,” he agreed.
Some of you have asked how I voted on my poll. I didn’t, because I actually surprised myself by second guessing my initial inclination. But I’ve been wanting to post a followup anyway, since this was pretty interesting for me to think about.
First of all, this wasn’t a test. While the fact that I was challenging the woman’s statement obviously indicates that I don’t necessarily agree with it, I think a preference for either type of compliment is legitimate. In a way, it actually makes more sense to me for someone to want to hear their husband say they are beautiful: you never hear about the husband running off with someone who’s a more organized housekeeper or better with kids. My biggest beef was probably that the woman in the story said, “Don’t say any of those [other] things.” Uh, why not? Heck, Husband, any compliment you want to give me, I’ll take. (However, let us all recognize the lameness of this guy’s having to plan to say something nice to his wife. Novel idea, buddy. Next week are you going to actually pick up your own dirty socks?)
The fact is that, in my opinion, the compliment itself doesn’t matter as much as what’s behind it. Regardless of what words are used, I think what we all want to hear is, “I love who you are and what you do and I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else.” And the person who’s making the statement should know his or her spouse well enough to know what words will best deliver that message. (Apparently, “You’re beautiful” isn’t always it – sorry, James Blunt.)
“Yes, it’s very you’re beautiful,” he replied.
“I mean, I’ve been posting pretty regularly, and I think they’re interesting and not too wordy or picture-y or boring,” I continued.
“Yes, you’re very pretty,” he agreed.
Some of you have asked how I voted on my poll. I didn’t, because I actually surprised myself by second guessing my initial inclination. But I’ve been wanting to post a followup anyway, since this was pretty interesting for me to think about.
First of all, this wasn’t a test. While the fact that I was challenging the woman’s statement obviously indicates that I don’t necessarily agree with it, I think a preference for either type of compliment is legitimate. In a way, it actually makes more sense to me for someone to want to hear their husband say they are beautiful: you never hear about the husband running off with someone who’s a more organized housekeeper or better with kids. My biggest beef was probably that the woman in the story said, “Don’t say any of those [other] things.” Uh, why not? Heck, Husband, any compliment you want to give me, I’ll take. (However, let us all recognize the lameness of this guy’s having to plan to say something nice to his wife. Novel idea, buddy. Next week are you going to actually pick up your own dirty socks?)
The fact is that, in my opinion, the compliment itself doesn’t matter as much as what’s behind it. Regardless of what words are used, I think what we all want to hear is, “I love who you are and what you do and I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else.” And the person who’s making the statement should know his or her spouse well enough to know what words will best deliver that message. (Apparently, “You’re beautiful” isn’t always it – sorry, James Blunt.)
Monday, June 8, 2009
New Poll
This was brought on by part of an article that appeared in my church's magazine The Ensign:
Many years ago an associate of mine decided he would please his wife by sharing with her a specific compliment each night as he arrived home. One night he praised her cooking. A second night he thanked her for excellence in housekeeping. A third night he acknowledged her fine influence on the children. The fourth night, before he could speak, she said, “I know what you are doing. I thank you for it. But don’t say any of those things. Just tell me you think I am beautiful.”
So, I've created a new poll (replacing the tutu store name). I'm curious - does this woman's statement reflect the way most women feel?
Every woman's vote is welcome, regardless of marital or relationship status (you can certainly project). Guys, please sit this one out, but feel free to comment and discuss the results with me. Poll closes in a week.
P.S. Thanks for all the comments on my recent post. I was more intending to express frustration at the difficulty of maintaining friendships than to fish for friends, but it felt good anyway to hear from you and feel support. I like you all.
Many years ago an associate of mine decided he would please his wife by sharing with her a specific compliment each night as he arrived home. One night he praised her cooking. A second night he thanked her for excellence in housekeeping. A third night he acknowledged her fine influence on the children. The fourth night, before he could speak, she said, “I know what you are doing. I thank you for it. But don’t say any of those things. Just tell me you think I am beautiful.”
So, I've created a new poll (replacing the tutu store name). I'm curious - does this woman's statement reflect the way most women feel?
Every woman's vote is welcome, regardless of marital or relationship status (you can certainly project). Guys, please sit this one out, but feel free to comment and discuss the results with me. Poll closes in a week.
P.S. Thanks for all the comments on my recent post. I was more intending to express frustration at the difficulty of maintaining friendships than to fish for friends, but it felt good anyway to hear from you and feel support. I like you all.
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