This was brought on by part of an article that appeared in my church's magazine The Ensign:
Many years ago an associate of mine decided he would please his wife by sharing with her a specific compliment each night as he arrived home. One night he praised her cooking. A second night he thanked her for excellence in housekeeping. A third night he acknowledged her fine influence on the children. The fourth night, before he could speak, she said, “I know what you are doing. I thank you for it. But don’t say any of those things. Just tell me you think I am beautiful.”
So, I've created a new poll (replacing the tutu store name). I'm curious - does this woman's statement reflect the way most women feel?
Every woman's vote is welcome, regardless of marital or relationship status (you can certainly project). Guys, please sit this one out, but feel free to comment and discuss the results with me. Poll closes in a week.
P.S. Thanks for all the comments on my recent post. I was more intending to express frustration at the difficulty of maintaining friendships than to fish for friends, but it felt good anyway to hear from you and feel support. I like you all.
8 comments:
I picked the "recognize my accomplishments" one because I feel like I already know when I look beautiful, and it's not usually when my husband says I do. He thinks I"m pretty at all the wrong times, like when my hair's in a ponytail and we're hiking. I'd much rather he compliment me on something I've done than something I apparently have absolutely no control over.
I want both, is that okay?
So...I voted for being told I'm beautiful. And now I feel like I missed a question on a test or something.
I haven't quite figured out why, but maybe I'll think on it more and get back to you.
So the guy went four days without telling his wife she was beautiful? And he could only come up with one compliment an evening? And it took some kind of plan? Some kind of effort? That's pretty pathetic, frankly.
I'm with Crystal, mostly because I don't believe him when he says I'm beautiful unless I myself am feeling beautiful (very rare - particularly these days).
When I first read this story, I actually wondered if, told in a different way, it would have a very different meaning. I mean, did she laugh as she said it, throw back her hair and give him a come-hither glance? In other words, was this the equivalent of "Take me to bed, you fool"? Maybe the husband really was on the right track to begin with.
almost 14 years later-I would take all of the above. There are many thankless jobs that are done to maintain a family-housework, childcare, teaching school stuff, manners, social skills, scripture study, fhe, cooking, getting kids to their activities,etc. I would take them all but there is something intimate when after all of this time I hear him say-you look beautiful today and then he kisses me. It reminds me that I was young once and always felt beautiful. Oh love the ways it lifts another....
Feeling appreciated is a big deal for me. Not that it wasn't a hard choice---I do like knowing Ry thinks I look beautiful. It would be hard if I never heard that from him. But I can get that feedback from other sources as well. Really though, I still love to hear "I love you" more than anything else.
That story really stood out to me as well. My first thought was, "WHAT????" I would much rather be complimented and appreciated than told I am beautiful. I think it just depends on how much value an individual places on appearance. For some women, I think that feeling beautiful is really important to them. But when I've been working hard all day and I know I look it, I don't really believe the beautiful line. :) I'd much rather have him notice all of the things I've done to create a nice home.
Post a Comment