Sunday, November 15, 2009

My beliefs on a mopey day

Today all I feel like doing is binge eating.

There are some days when I don't like the person I'm being, and yet I don't have the power to stop it. I think that's the crux of Christianity - our spiritual aspirations are higher than our mortal imperfection will allow us to achieve.

The concept of accepting Jesus isn't a bandaid. The goal is not to stay lowly but feel placated because we've joined the Jesus Club, and he'll make up for it. I'm not into quick fixes or just putting a cover on it and calling it good (nor do I accept the "that's just the way I am" mentality). I don't believe that God just wants us to look good or to feel good. He wants us to BE good. And that's what repentance and spiritual rebirth are about. I believe, and have experienced, the reality of accepting Christ's offering to help us become more than we are - to transcend above our mortality to become more closely the people we want to be. So, I don't have to wallow in self-loathing and be disgusted with myself on days like these, where I really am unsatisfied with who I am and how I am. I can have faith and hope that transcendence is possible - in fact, guaranteed - as long as I work for it and hold up my end of covenants.

Faith, hope, and improvement are a lot more satisfying than binge eating. But also much harder.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

First words

My baby is talking.

A few weeks ago she discovered consonants, so her first talk-like sounds were "da-da" and "blah-blah." A few days later we discovered that she was saying these with purpose, and one day we began to hear deliberate "Da-da"s directed at Steven, and "Ma-ma"s directed at me.

Then tonight, as I was getting Carmen ready for bed, she said, "Touch." It took a minute for it to register to me that she had really said it, but then suddenly I realized that she had, and that she meant it. Part of our sleep-time routine is that I turn on her mobile and let her gently touch the animals as they go around (the lion and bear are her favorite). She loves to do this.

Of course, I immediately turned on the mobile and let her touch. And I also planted plenty of kisses on those soft, plump cheeks that suddenly weren't so babyish anymore.

Friday, November 6, 2009


Every once in a while I have a glimpse memory of a book from my childhood, like: "Oh, yeah, I remember that book...I wonder where I could get a copy?"

So today, while browsing a thrift store, I hit the mother lode! All of these classics from my childhood (plus a few more that were new to me), for a grand total of $3.

Morris and Boris at the Circus
Song and Dance Man
I Can Do It Myself
A Bargain for Frances
Lambert the Sheepish Lion
The Little Engine That Could
Old Hat, New Hat
No Roses for Harry!
Sam, The Firehouse Cat
Little Toot
Pig Will and Pig Won't

It's nice that Olivia was as excited as I was.