Here is her little spine:
And here is her cute little skeletal face:
She has a nice little pumping heart with four nicely formed chambers, and two skinny little legs and two skinny little arms and one nice round belly with lots of nicely formed guts in it. She also has a 3-vesseled umbilical cord that is attached in the right place, as is the placenta. Her head is even down right now, although she is certainly moving around and has plenty of time to do so. She's the right size and we've been steadily gaining 3 lbs. every 4 weeks, so everything looks perfect.
My initial reaction was not what I'd expected. I hadn't really been hoping for one gender over another, but as soon as I learned she was a girl I suddenly had this very protective feeling for Olivia. I was so anxious about her having a little sister who would be competing with her at everything and make her feel insecure or overlooked. I come from a very competitive family, and I don't want that for Olivia: family should be a place where you feel accepted and encouraged, not bullied or threatened or constantly pitted against someone.
My fretful emotions soon gave way for another uncomfortable one: guilt for my ingratitude at having a healthy child and for feeling defensive against a sweet little baby who hasn't even been born, because of something she's never done. Yes, Olivia's my little girl, but so is she. And she needs to be loved and protected too. There's enough love in me for both my little girls, and I can teach them to build each other up. I am both a big and a little sister, and I've loved being both, in spite of sibling rivalry. I have years of happy memories of jumping on the trampoline and doing puzzles, playing with My Little Ponies and doing water ballets in the pool, spending car trips braiding hair and counting warts on feet. There is no substitute for siblings.
So, after a nice shower and a nice lunch, I sat down again to look at the pictures of my tiny little skeleton. I felt the little pit-a-pats that are becoming more and more frequent in my belly. And I noticed how sweet those little eye sockets look.
3 comments:
Oh boy. Our babies could date.
Let me be the first (oh shoot, now I'm the second!)to congratulate you on expecting another beautiful little girl! I am so excited for you! I'm sure she will be beautiful, just like Olivia.
I can understand your protective feelings for Olivia. For me, it was even worse in some ways right after Evan was born while I had to watch poor, confused Derek give up much of my time and undivided attention for this new little stranger who invaded our house. Sometimes I even felt bad dressing Evan in the little outfits I had picked out just for Derek when he was a baby.
But, the transition goes fast and now Derek said the other day that he doesn't really remember when Evan didn't live at our house and it was just Derek and Mommy at home (which is sad in some ways, but he is certainly not sitting around wishing for the good old days). None of us can imagine life without funny little Evan and we all totally love him.
I'm so happy for you and that we get to have another cute niece!
yay, another girl! yay for girls!:)
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