Today all I feel like doing is binge eating.
There are some days when I don't like the person I'm being, and yet I don't have the power to stop it. I think that's the crux of Christianity - our spiritual aspirations are higher than our mortal imperfection will allow us to achieve.
The concept of accepting Jesus isn't a bandaid. The goal is not to stay lowly but feel placated because we've joined the Jesus Club, and he'll make up for it. I'm not into quick fixes or just putting a cover on it and calling it good (nor do I accept the "that's just the way I am" mentality). I don't believe that God just wants us to look good or to feel good. He wants us to BE good. And that's what repentance and spiritual rebirth are about. I believe, and have experienced, the reality of accepting Christ's offering to help us become more than we are - to transcend above our mortality to become more closely the people we want to be. So, I don't have to wallow in self-loathing and be disgusted with myself on days like these, where I really am unsatisfied with who I am and how I am. I can have faith and hope that transcendence is possible - in fact, guaranteed - as long as I work for it and hold up my end of covenants.
Faith, hope, and improvement are a lot more satisfying than binge eating. But also much harder.
7 comments:
Remember when you used to call me Satan? When you wrote the first line in this I thought "well, then binge Amber, it'll feel great!" And then I read the whole post and thought "my goodness, I AM Satan!" :) I'm glad you strive to be better, and sorry that you are feeling low now. Good luck, I bet God wishes we all had your feelings on the subject.
Is it bad to bet about God?...
Thanks for the spiritual insight. It's so easy to forget that we can actually rise above our weaknesses. I need to remember that more often!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I get the same feelings sometimes. I really appreciate it.
I'm with you 100%. Nice to know I'm not the only one . . .
Does eating popcorn and candy while watching an on demand movie with husband count as binge-eating? I like to cal it "vegging-out".
I love your convictions about not accepting the "that's just the way I am" attitude. We are all just one way, because we are human, but in promising or "covenanting" to be more like our Savior, we are promising to strive to be more than just who we are and not be satisfied with anything less or displeasing to him. That being said, I don't think that you are in any danger of being less that anything, I admire your talents and dedication to the Gospel and it's mission! I hope to one day be able to be as musically inclined and craftily, sewingly creative as you. Thanks for being an example for me, I need it.
Ps.I love the first comment, she must be your sister. : )
I agree with you. Life can be pretty tough sometimes. You just need to grab life by the lips and yank as hard as you can!
Amber, you're amazing! I love the points you make in this post. Makes me think of that quote - I think by David O. McKay - about how the gospel of Jesus Christ helps us improve, making bad men good and good men better. It's a perpetual progression that never ends - and that's so amazing, because we always have something to reach toward! That transcendance is amazing. Such a cool post, lady!
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