Tomorrow Steven and I celebrate the second anniversary of our marriage. That's right: 2 years, 2 kids. It's been great. I have been happier than I ever thought possible.
Which gets me to thinking about something people always say: Marriage is hard work. Frankly, it hasn't been. For me, DATING was hard. Marriage is the fun part, and everything in my life right now would be much harder and much less enjoyable if I were not married.
I'm not sure what's supposed to be hard about it. Getting along? We got married because we got along and never got sick of each other. Learning to live with someone? We've both lived with people all our lives and had to contribute to households. I guess we had a hard time at first sleeping comfortably in the same bed, but that was quickly resolved. Working together on things? We met when we were working together; that's never been a problem. We also think similarly and have common goals. Raising children? Well, so far that's been fun, and much easier as a couple than it would be alone. Learning to share? We both wanted to get married because we were sick of living just for ourselves. We LIKE to share!
I guess we do both work hard, but it just doesn't seem to me like marriage itself has been a cause of work. Instead, it's probably the best part of my life (it entails a lot of good things). Does having an easy marriage mean we're doing something wrong? Or do we just need to wait a few more years to become embittered with each other and jaded with life? Am I the only one who feels this way?
At any rate, if I could do it all over again, I'd marry Steven the moment I met him. Which would be really awkward, since it was when he was interviewing me for a job.
3 comments:
I like this post. I was thinking that perhaps it was the fact that you dated for longer than some people do that has helped you to have this stronger, easier marriage. You already knew each other's ups and downs, and were definitely past the starstruck stage (I'm assuming). You knew this is what you wanted, which makes all those things you mentioned a lot easier. Plus, maybe you happen to just be very easygoing people.
Maybe some trials come, not because you get sick of each other (though that made me laugh from the cynicism, but sadly it's also true sometimes) but because life changes and sometimes people forget the partnership aspect of marriage. People DO change, or you have different challenges, and those things can draw you apart if you let them.
I'll stop acting like I know what I'm talking about now. I mean, I've been married for less time than you have! I'm glad you have a lovely marriage and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you for feeling that it's easy. :)
Right on! I'm glad you guys have a great marriage---I would say there is definitely correlation between that and the great attitudes (gratitude makes a big difference) you have and the the great decisions you make together. With that said, there may come moments (hopefully very short moments that are few and far between) when you do not feel the way you do now. But one of the best ways to get out of those moments is to remember all the good in your marriage, and it seems like there is plenty of good in yours to fall back on!
Andy and I were discussing this very thing the other night. Or at least how we hear that the first year of marriage is supposed to be really hard...
and as the voice of experience and authority on the subject, I agree with you.
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