Friday, January 29, 2010

Another surgery

One dark night a few weeks ago, tragedy struck our family.

Due to the gross neglect of one male member of our family who shall remain nameless, our darling Marianne was involved in a terrible car accident that left her eyeless.



Fortunately, a recognized specialist in kitty eye transplants is doing residency here. But before the surgery could take place, we needed an eye to transplant.

A city-wide search (of thrift stores) was conducted to try to find a suitable donor, one who had 9mm blue round acrylics. (This yielded only a green-eyed frog that Olivia took a shine to.) We finally turned to the black market (craft stores) and found grotesque packages of body parts…but alas, the only blue eyes were 12mm, too large for Marianne’s dainty features.

Finally, in an act of supreme charity, Marianne’s larger (and less beloved) sister White Tiger offered to sacrifice her own blue eyes in exchange for a surgical enhancement of larger blue eyes. With some misgivings, the eye surgeon agreed to proceed.



WARNING: the following graphic photographs of the actual surgery may be disturbing to some sensitivities. Viewer discretion is advised.

Dressed out for surgery


The kitties with their IVs




Performing the delicate procedure





Resting up in post op after a successful surgery




We are happy to report that the transplants were successful (as gauged by Olivia's not rejecting them). While Olivia still doesn't care as much about White Tiger, I must say that because of her unselfishness, she now holds a much dearer place in my heart. And of course, we're all glad to have Marianne back to normal.

15 comments:

Unknown said...

This is hilarious. Full marks.

Unknown said...

First of all, you scared the livin begeebers out of me. You have one seriously gullible reader here. The feed I got cut off right at the first "eyeless" and I was horrified! The confusion and horror didn't quite leave until about the picture of the surgery table, when I was finally about to not only comprehend but FEEL the humor. And now I also think it's hilarious. Way to go all out.

Brook said...

Ooooohhhh, I almost passed out. The gore!

maugers said...

cute cute cute :)

A Roper said...

:) I LOVE IT!!! You are such an awesome mommy!!!!

Crystal said...

Ooo. Now we know where our abused animals should be airlifted for surgery. :)

Heather said...

too funny! You make the rest of us Moms look bad!

Christa Jeanne said...

Oh, Amber, you are too darling!!! Glad to hear Marianne is back to good health. :)

annie (the annilygreen one) said...

this makes me miss you guys even more! so funny.

woolspinner said...

I meant to tell you at church - this headline just about gave me a heart attack. I'm glad the crisis has passed and all are healing and resting comfortably.

amanda said...

you have got to be the coolest most imaginative person ever!! I wish I could be like you when I grow up!!!You are awesome!!! KEEP UP THE AWESOME MOTHERHOOD and the posts!!!

Kathy said...

Okay so this has to be one of the funniest posts I have ever read. I love the surgery pictures. So funny.

The Looney Writer said...

Yeah. It's sad that Olivia's indifferent, but oh, well.

Catherine said...

This is an awesome post. I love it!

Jamee Moulton said...

A+!