When did people decide that it was okay to be jerks to each other?
I remember when, as a teenager, I brilliantly deduced that I could and should act however I felt inclined because it would be "dishonest" not to. Meaning that, if I woke up and felt like a grump, I was perfectly justified in behaving like a grump, because to try to disguise it would be a lie. If someone asked me a question and I didn't feel like answering, I would just ignore them. If I didn't feel like smiling (and most of the time, I didn't), I wouldn't. Logically, it worked out. Kind of.
The problem is that, when you get down to it, logic and rightness - and even honesty - aren't what life's about at all. They're things to think about and occupy yourself with, but they don't make up the meat of what living actually is. I was very grateful to grow up and rediscover that all the importance in life comes from our relationships and happiness, in feeling happy and making others feel happy too. It seems ridiculous that I could have lost sight of this, since I've always liked feeling happy and appreciated others who treated me with kindness. I guess I'm using a lot of words to try to describe a simple concept: Me like happy. You too?
So, it really bothers me when I hear or read things that are meant to make someone else feel bad. Political mudslinging or slams; digs on online forums; nasty comments made under the cloak of online anonymity; hateful, self-serving protests - there's a whole accepted culture of meanness. It makes me assume that these individuals haven't grown out of the same kind of adolescent funk I was in, and feel impatient for them to do so. Why can't we all be honestly, intentionally nice to each other?
3 comments:
I take full responsibility for the fact that a lot of times I'm not as nice as I should be, but I'm with you 100% on my overall intent in life. This is why I struggle to be engaged in politics. It was all I could do to watch one debate before the election. I literally cannot tolerate mudslinging in politics. I find it so hypocritical that we raise children to be nice but that the people who run for office decide to be bullies. I don't want anyone for President who acts like that. This complicates my decision about who to vote for.
I agree - I also make no pretenses about being perfectly nice all the time. But I sure would like to be.
Hi Amber,
This is Heidi:) I wish you were even more petite than you already are so I could carry you around on my shoulder to all my husbands' family functions so you could share your wise observations with my often-clashing sister in laws. (as opposed to my baffled stares which result after some of their "honest" comments:) And speaking of happy, I hope your little girl comes early! My guess is feb 7th at 2:30pm and 7lbs. 2 oz. And if I'm right can my prize please be to hold her if you are ever in town?:) You and Crystal both make the cutest little tinkerbell-esqe kids!
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